So I put all my eggs in basket...I believed that if I tried...maybe...just maybe. Well, I have tried, failed, despaired. Why? The answer was so obvious...yet I never accepted it. I refused to.

But in the end, reality is harsh. Face it...no one can escape it. Inevitable as Death himself. So now what? Will I let myself drown in this pool? I've have considered...but no. I don't love life...I fear death.

So I swore, that on the outside I will not change...not one bit. No matter what happens I will be the Michael that everyone knows. But for just how long can this go on before I grow sick of it? I don't know...

truth to be told, I don't know anything anymore. Things like people change too fast. Or maybe I'm just too slow.

What now? Life is becoming dull...the same thing over and over. Getting through everyday just so I can go home and...do what? Study? Listen to my parents screaming at each other and my brother crying? Why?

It disgusts me...