Speech...

My speech was horrible ugh. I was shaking the whole time and messed up so bad and stumbled a bunch of times. Well at least I got it over with...

And those who thought I went to the BR as an escape tactic...it was not. I really had to go.

The best speech so far in my humble opinion is Maggie's (not to offend anyone) Her speech completely wowed me. It made me feel like a idiot. The others were great too especially the people who went early. It's hard to deal with the pressure on stage.

Wish everyone who haven't went yet good luck.

Wow...

They say that there is nothing to fear but fear itself...
Reasons to live appear and disappear but the subconscious will to live is always there. Those who faced near-death knows it.

We did drops...yes those things on those tear-shaped blue papers. You wouldn't believe how easily some girls filled those out. I was still struggling on my first one as they rushed through their 3rd, 4th...and so on. It seemed odd to me, as I regard my feelings private and personal. A part of myself that I refuse to give up or share

Do they value their feelings? The ones scribbling out their inside one by one on that piece of blue paper...

I suppose I'm being hypocritical by posting this and a lot of people will go like "wth? what a creep" but I found this thought-provoking to some degree.

So I put all my eggs in basket...I believed that if I tried...maybe...just maybe. Well, I have tried, failed, despaired. Why? The answer was so obvious...yet I never accepted it. I refused to.

But in the end, reality is harsh. Face it...no one can escape it. Inevitable as Death himself. So now what? Will I let myself drown in this pool? I've have considered...but no. I don't love life...I fear death.

So I swore, that on the outside I will not change...not one bit. No matter what happens I will be the Michael that everyone knows. But for just how long can this go on before I grow sick of it? I don't know...

truth to be told, I don't know anything anymore. Things like people change too fast. Or maybe I'm just too slow.

What now? Life is becoming dull...the same thing over and over. Getting through everyday just so I can go home and...do what? Study? Listen to my parents screaming at each other and my brother crying? Why?

It disgusts me...

Roasted...

Omg...I feel like one of those roasted ducks in the oven...

The heat is unbearable. It makes me feel...sluggish. I hate it, despise it, can't stand it. (a set of three?)

anyways...testing's coming up. My parents were trying to be "good parents" and said they would actually cook me a good breakfast. but they ended up oversleeping and I had to wake my dad up...like usual.

I was up till 4 last night trying to cram as much stuff into my head as possible but I still failed...I know already that I got 2 wrong for sure. I blame Mrs.Decarlo lol.

excuses aside...I'm so confused right now...about everything. Kinda like a ship the deep sea fog. everything around seems intangible...

ok enough rambling. I'm gonna go take a shower (4th time in 2 days) I'm sweating like one of those plant waterers (not that you want to know)

let's just hope that it's gonna get better tomorrow...

Weird question thing...

TEN EMOTIONS.

1. are you missing someone right now?- use to it...

2. are you happy?- define happy...
3. are you talking to anyone right now?- nope...home alone...like always
4. are you bored?- bored? suppose so...
5. are you german?- should I be?
6. are you irish?- ...who came up with this anyway?
7. are you chinese?- no...I just happen to be able to speak chinese and look chinese and somehow my parents are chinese too.
8. are you asian?- no doubt...
9. are your parents still married?- yeh...but my mom's never home anyways.
10. do you like someone right now?- people are so fricking nosy these days...


TEN FACTS.
1. hometown- the place where they held olympics 2008 and where the air is yellow.
2. hair color- black...
3. perfume- why am I getting a feeling that this is a feminine question?
4. hair style- who knows...who cares?
5. eye color- color of the void...
6. shoe size- 9...10...something like that
7. mood- not good...bad...malevolent...etc
8. skin color- changes...anywhere from sickly pale to light brown.
9. available?- for?
10. lefty/righty- born left handed...but parents just refuses to accept how nature made me...

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.
1. have you ever been in love?- idk...
2. do you believe in love?- the word is too broad and vague
3. why did your last relationship fail?- shut up...just shut up.
4. have you ever been heartbroken?- literally? metaphorically?
5. have you ever broken someone's heart?- how am I suppose to know?
6. have you ever fallen for one of your best friends?- no...I'm not gay...
7. have you ever liked someone but never told them?- no
8. are you afraid of commitment?- this thing is kinda getting off the bars...
9. has someone ever kissed your hand?- what? that's a feminine question...again.
10. have you ever had a secret admirer?- probably not. and notice the keyword"secret"?

TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT.
1. love or lust- this thing needs better questions
2. hard liquor or beer- don't drink smart one...
3. night or day- night...
t4. one night stands or relationships- like i said...this thing needs better questions...
5. television or internet- is television that weird box with colors? I thought show sites replaced them years ago...
6. pepsi or coke- don't get one of those things near me...I've seen what they can do to me.
7. wild night out or romantic night in- no experience...i mean who does around this time?
8. colored pictures or black and white pictures- color...
9. phone or in person- phone/text/chat/person/etc/etc
10. friendster or myspace- please...don't mention lame sites in front of me.

ONE HAVE Y0U EVER's.
10. Have you ever felt the hatred and the drive for revenge? ...let's just say that forgiveness is a hard emotion to uncover...especially when he keeps provoking you.

Woe and Behold

Break was...less than satisfactory. Since everyone went off to DC there wasn't much left for me to do.

Daily Routine:
Eat
Do CST testing and crap
Computer
Eat
Computer
Tennis
Eat
Computer
Sleep
Repeat

Got so bored that I ended up playing Age of Empires 3 for like 4 hours straight ugh. Missing the good old nostalgic school...almost. At time like this, one often wonders and wishes to have a more exciting and meaningful existence. I suppose everyone has their downs and ups and the higher they climb the harder they fall.

All in all...life is still the same normal everyday thing it has always been, is, and most likely will be.

Humiliation

Ok I played against Jwoo today...first set he beat me 7-5 (I screwed with double fault in the end) and I was winning 4-1 the second set. Jwoo did good and it was pretty fun.

Here comes the crazy part...this little kid...about 7 or 8 years old showed up at the court next to us with his dad. The dad was drilling the kid who played insane...absolutely insane. Better than us 8th graders. This was proven when his dad told us he wanted us to play his son to see how he would do against older kids.

Seth (his name) could do twist serves...yeh like the ones u see in Prince of Tennis. You can actually see it curve in the air. And it goes crazy when hits the ground(luckily he was short so he couldn't hit it too deep/hard so none us got hit in the face) Jwoo was playing beautifully aginst the kid. He did some great shots and got a point by using his height and smashing consecutively a few times. but in the end he lost game-15 (that's 4-1 for those of you who dont know...) and had to go.

I played next against him. I managed to hold him at bay with my crazy slices. His dad threw the ball to him during practice with his hand so Seth probably don't have much experience with playing off slices. Plus he was kinda tired by then. I won by hitting a extremely lucky shot that rolled over the net. Truth to be told, he was way better than us both...even if it was 2 vs 1 he probably could of brought us down...

I bet Jwoo is posting this too